Useless facts about New Year's Eve.
"Hmmm…45% of Americans make resolutions and 25% break them by mid-January,” Chad rolled his eyes. “Booorrrring. As if we don’t already know that.” His chest rose as he breathed in deeply before letting out his breath. “Sacrifice to the God Janus.” Chad’s lips pressed together as his eyes squinted looking at the Useless Facts book his uncle had gifted him years before. “Could be interesting, but … nah!”
He kept flipping pages, shaking his head and murmuring. The other Guardians were enjoying their last day off before school started back up from winter break by having a burger and fries at The Wolf’s Den. Chad told them he would meet up with them later, he didn’t like them around when he did one of his episodes of A Moment with Chad. New year means a new episode and he was hoping to do one about New Years.
So, here he was draped across the sofa in their hideaway, the Lair, looking through his book trying to come up with a subject for his first episode of the new year. It just couldn’t be any fact about New Years, it had to be one that was Chad approved. He refused to do a boring episode; he wasn’t a boring person, just a frustrated one.
Chad’s gaze moved to the next page and his eyes grew wider and started to sparkle as his smile widened. He jumped off the couch, “Static!” His voice echoed around the Lair’s basement as he bounced off his heels that hit the floor, leaping over the table and grabbing one of his chalkboards on an easel, putting it up while he grabbed some colored chalk.
The sound of chalk scraping across the black chalkboard, squealed around the room while Chad’s hands moved the chalk in circles and swirls, moving straight down and ending with a sharp jab creating the period to the exclamation mark. Chad stood back staring at the words before giving one, crisp nod to the board and what was written.
Out with the old, in with the new!
Rubbing his hands together and ignoring the dust that flew from his hands Chad gave one last look at the book in his hand. “In parts of Italy, people welcome the New Year by tossing out old things out their windows. By tossing out the old, they make room for new and lucky things to enter their households and lives in the coming year.” He gestured to the chalkboard. “Out with the old, in with the new!”
He looked around the room, holding his tongue between his lips. His grin widened as his eyes fell on his target. “Bingo!” With a leap he bounded over the couch and grabbed I.Q.’s Calculus book, rushing over to the basement window he tried to shove it open but the snow stopped him. “Ugh! Forgot about that.” A small snowstorm hit Michigan last night, leaving over 4 inches of snow. “Well, I am the Guardian of ice.” He put his hand on the window before him, the frost on the glass starting to slowly dissipate. The snow moved back as well, creating an opening in the snow drift outside the window. “Perfect!”
Opening the window he tossed out the book with a flick of his wrist, grinning as it landed in the snow with a plopping sound. Turning around he saw some other school books sitting on a corner table, Vanna and her Geography books. His next victims landed with the same noise next to their Calculus counterparts. “This is fun!”
Out the window his brother’s sweater went along with Tia’s scrunchies, “These definitely fall under the old category, 1980’s old.” He quipped as he used his thumb and fingers to make them fly out the window, shooting past the textbooks and sweater. As he jumped over the coffee table he landed on one of Telara’s leg warmers, another 1980 accessory, and slid across the floor landing on his ass. “Oomph, ouch!” He groaned rubbing his posterior and glaring at the offending leg warmers. “Okay then, you are next.” With that, the warmers went flying.
“What is going on?” Tia’s annoyed voice could be heard through the open window as Chad was about to send one of Cole’s trick drinking glasses out the window.
“Ooppssss,” He froze in mid stride looking around the room then outside the window where the others were standing over their possessions that were starting to get wet from the snow. “And that does it for this episode of A Moment with Chad, join me next time – if I’m not dead – for another entertaining useless fact.” A wave of his hand before he shot upstairs, “Bye!”
“Chad!” The other Guardian’s voices echoed in annoyance as they moved to run into the house to intercept him.